TBSE THEORY: The Hand

This theory applies to any situation where you need an answer that doesn't depend entirely of you. The palm of the hand (what you see when looking at your hand) is what you know about a situation. Same way, the backside of the hand (which you don't see) is what you don't know, but you're getting anxious to know about it. Forget about the anxiety of "not knowing", just embrace the process, take action or focus on other things, but do no let the "back of your hand" dominate your mind.

  • I have done an interview. Will they hire me?

  • I am in love with this person. Does he/she feel the same?

  • I have taken an exam. Have I passed? Did I get a good grade?

Many times in our day to day, situations arise that we cannot resolve at the moment, or because of fear, we just don't ask.

This translates into an enormous amount of obsessive thoughts with those topics, and they end up taking us away FROM THE NOW, letting the mind make the decisions for ourselves. Meaning, the mind begins to create complacent situations, or on the contrary, destructive ones. Whatever the case, unreal situations.

That is why we generate stress, anxiety, and we are in a constant state of worry. We've all been through it and it's not a pleasant feeling.

What do we do when this happens? I will explain how I deal with these situations.

This theory is based on two aspects:

The frontside of the hand:

What we know about the situation

(following the prior examples)

  • The sensations obtained from the interview, your resume, etc.

  • How that person behaves with you, the things they say to you, the conversations you have, etc.

  • How much or little you had studied, the difficulty of the exam, etc.

The backside of the hand:

What we don't know about the situation

(following the prior examples)

  • Will they hire me?

  • Does that person feel the same as me?

  • Have I passed? Did I get a good grade?

When these situations happen, we have two options:

1. The easiest: WE ASK (if possible).

-- Yeah well i don't know, i'm afraid, what if they don't hire me? What if they don't like me? What if I didn't passed the exam? --

As I said before, unreal and harmful thoughts.

  • For the first and last examples, it's not possible to ask, since we will get the answer after some time.

  • For the second case, can we ask? OF COURSE. We can talk with "that person" to express our feelings and ask if he/she feels the same way.
    Regardless of the other person's response, WE HAVE DONE IT, we have solved the unkown that was worrying us, and therefore we can take action accordingly. We have mastered our mind again, we are back in THE NOW, meaning? We can make decisions by ourselves that ONLY depend on us.

2. Now, what if we can't ask?

If we won't get the grade of our exam after a few weeks, or if they won't tell us till next week if we're going to be hired, then what do we do?

-- Well, we forget about it --
-- That easy? --
-- Well, you won't believe it, but YES. Do not think about it--

We don't let those thoughts and that doubt to invade our NOW. We don't let our mind decide what to think. And therefore, we stop creating unreal situations in our minds.


This theory is not about how to deal with rejection, a career setback or an exam failing.


This theory is about dominating our thoughts, and there's nothing more illogical than worrying, spending time thinking, getting frustrated, for something WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER.

-- Because, if we have control, what do we do? WE ASK. --

-- Why? --

Because this way, we get out of the circle of thoughts that consumes our energy, and we are back in THE NOW.
Instead of letting doubt and fear cloud our mind, WE TAKE ACTION, and based on the response, we manage and become masters of ourselves.

On the other hand, if we cannot resolve that doubt, since we have to wait, WHAT IS THE SENSE OF THINKING ABOUT IT?

  • If I think a lot about the interview and I create situations in my head, will they give me an answer sooner? Will they hire me then? NO

  • If I'm afraid to ask that person how they feel, and I create situations in my head, will that person come to tell me about their feelings? Maybe yes, or maybe not, but it won't depend on us.

  • If I start thinking about the exam: does the teacher hate me? What did my classmates respond to those questions? Will they then give me my grade faster or will I magically have passed? NO

Therefore, when you face a situation over which you have no control, LOOK AT YOUR HAND!

Realize that you can't see the back of the hand, so IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE to think about it, since you will be wasting time, because it doesn't depend on you.

So, if you have doubts, fear, insecurity regarding a situation in your life, ASK, and then face the situation (but now, with power and being able to decide for yourself), and if you cannot ask, "DO NOT OVERTHINK", focus on another aspect of your life, focus on THE NOW, and let the answer come. Later you'll be able to decide for yourself and face the situation.

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