TBSE THEORY: THE BALANCE
Life is full of choices, and many of these decisions involve other people. Whether it's with our romantic partners, friends, family, or colleagues, figuring out what to do together can be both exciting and challenging. The secret to healthy relationships lies in finding a balance where everyone's desires and preferences are considered and respected. In this blog post, we'll explore a theory that focuses on achieving harmony in decision-making between you and another person. The most important thing in a balance is what weights more. The good or the bad? What you want or what the other persons want?
When it comes to relationships, decision-making can lead us down three different paths.
First, there's the fantastic scenario where both of you are on the same page, making choices a piece of cake!
Then, there are those situations where one person is cool with a certain option, even if it's not their top pick, while the other is totally into it.
Lastly, there's the trickiest one of all - when one person wants to do something, but the other is totally against it.
So, what do you do in these situations? How do you figure out whose desires get priority? Is there a magical formula to find that perfect balance?
FIRST SCENARIO
In the first scenario, everything seems perfect! Both of you want to do the same thing, and it feels like a match made in heaven. It's awesome when decisions are a breeze, and you're on the same wavelength!
But hold on, let's remember something super important - honesty! When making decisions together, it's crucial to be totally sincere about how you feel. Don't let fear of judgment or reprisals stop you from expressing your true opinion. Being open and genuine is the key to maintaining a healthy relationship.
SECOND SCENARIO
In the second situation, things are still looking good. Maybe one of you isn't overly excited about the choice the other person wants, but you're cool with it. That's okay! Managing this scenario is easier, and it's worth appreciating the effort the less enthusiastic person is making to go along with the decision to make the other person happy.
THIRD SCENARIO
Now, here comes the tricky part - the third scenario. In my perspective, there's an essential rule that should ALWAYS be followed: neither of you should dip below the "average" on the balance scale.
Imagine it like a three-level scale:
The top is "I'm thrilled to do it."
The middle is "I don't mind doing it, it's fine."
And the bottom is "I really don't want to do this. In fact, it will make me unhappy. I'll be uncomfortable or upset, and I'd rather not do it."
In this case, the opinion of the person who feels negatively about the action should prevail. Even if you're excited about something, if it's going to make the other person unhappy, then it's best not to do it.
Unless, of course, not doing that action would make you unhappy instead. Remember, taking care of yourself and your feelings should always be a priority.
Conclusion
In relationships, making decisions together is like an art form that combines understanding, compromise, and empathy.
We've explored three different scenarios that happen when two hearts come together to make choices.
In the first scenario, when both of you want the same thing, it's pure joy and unity! Being honest about our preferences is vital for a healthy relationship, as it builds trust and respect.
The second scenario teaches us the beauty of compromise. Sometimes, decisions won't always be exactly what we want, but making them with love can create deeper connections and strengthen our bond.
And in the third scenario, when emotions clash, we need to approach with empathy and sensitivity. Considering the other person's feelings, even if it means letting go of our own desires, shows true selflessness and helps nurture a lasting relationship.
Remember that there's no one-size-fits-all formula for perfect decision-making in relationships.
It's about embracing the uniqueness of each connection and finding that delicate balance that works for both of you.
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